will work for food

these

are the men working on our house.

just thought you might like this picture.

not wasting their lives

you're probably familiar with john piper's view of the custom of retirement in the western world. if not, you can read about it here. basically, piper thinks that we should continue to actively minister and work for Christ all the days of our lives. he thinks that retirement should not mean throwing in the towel, traveling the world for selfish reasons, and/or patting oneself on the back, saying, "you deserve this" and in essence wasting the rest of your life.

i know some men that would be excellent "case-in-point"s for dr piper. these men (all 65+) literally built our church building.

(it sounds redundant, but the church is not a building: we meet in one.)

at 8AM sharp this morning, Capt'n, Billy, and Dan the Man showed up on our front step ready to work. more accurately, at 8AM, they showed up in the front yard and began taking the frames off the windows of our living room. a ruckus immediately began throughout the house. we had assumed they would start with the dining room and had not prepared the living room. my parents and i started removing mini blinds, paintings, wall hangings, lamps, furniture, books, shoes and toys from the living room while judah began shouting from her high chair.

you would have thought it was the beatles at shea stadium.

she went wild. shouting their names and trying to get herself out of her bib and high chair simultaneously. "capt'n and billy here!!!!"

(she's a big fan.)

they were attacking the front of the house with such fury (hammers and pry bars and such), the sound was deafening. i was attempting to help my parents move things from the room, keep judah out from underfoot, and answer the business line for discover yosemite all at the same time.

sheets were brought in, draped over couches, tarps were laid, drywall was chipped off, and someone started the shop vac. (at this point i'm trying to remember why i thought it would be a good idea to dust last saturday.) within a matter of hours, these men installed four new windows in our living room and another in our dining room. two months ago, they completely re-windowed two of our bedrooms.

tomorrow, it's sliding doors.

next week? they're re-roofing someone's house.

this is not a business for these men.

it's a ministry.

they have helped countless people in our church and our community with endless projects. not for personal gain, but simply to serve.

Capt'n, aptly named for his leadership, runs the crew. Billy, an ex-marine with the softest heart and sweetest voice, is his right-hand man; always ready with a hearty laugh at all of Capt'n's teasing and jokes. Dan the Man is an instrument of precision; a wood-worker of the highest craftsmanship. their ministry is to do projects that people cannot do on their own. serious projects. like window installation and roofing. my dad, Gunner (for his avid use of the nail gun), follows all Capt'n's instructions beautifully.

i smiled from the kitchen after serving coffee and coffee cake to hear them pray and then discuss the next job, people in need, organizations in the community that might need a hand, and how to effectively fundraise.

i believe this is exactly what dr piper was thinking when he started writing down his thoughts about not wasting our lives. these men have a skill, a talent, that the Lord gave to them. instead of spending their retirement years collecting seashells, Capt'n and his gang are using these God-given gifts to bless the church and the community.

i think we can all learn from their example.

miranda lambert and the israelites

her new single has slipped all the way down to #6 on the country music charts. i guess she held steady at #1 for a few weeks there. and i can see why. it's a catchy, sweet song. and it pulls on those old heartstrings. what more could you ask for? i hear it in the car and start humming it while doing the dishes or washing judah's hair. but i resisted it for awhile. you know why? because it doesn't apply to me. oh, it's as american as songs can get, but it's not for me. we (americans, that is) like nostalgia. we like the heartland. we like going home (although it's been rumored that's not possible).


and july? well, that's like america's Christmas, you know? we break out flags, eat fried chicken and apple pie, and start talking baseball. and it's funny to me. because if those things were really that important, that integral, they wouldn't only happen in july. we'd hoist old glory every day of the year, if we truly loved her. we'd make time to eat dinners around a dining room (kitchen?) table, if it were truly important. right?

but like i said, that doesn't apply to me. and i'll tell you why. first of all it doesn't apply because my "home" is not a house. oh sure, i remember once going back to our childhood home and listening to the cupboards creak open and enjoying that sound. i enjoyed checking out our old tree house and reminiscing about all the sleepovers we had up there. that was a good time. but it didn't define me. and i certainly didn't need to go back and "touch" that place in order to "find myself." because that house (mobile home) isn't who i am. my family is who i am. and my Jesus.

so then my mind goes to abraham. who was he? what do i know of abraham? he was extremely wealthy. he was old. he had a barren wife. whom he passed off as his sister TWICE out of fear. and he was the first israelite. well, kinda. because they weren't called that then. mainly because israel was abraham's grandson. he was chosen. the Lord God chose this man abraham (abram) out of the whole earth's population and claimed him for Himself. God basically said, "you are Mine." and from this one man, the Lord started a nation. a nation that hadn't existed before. a people set apart as God's own people. although He created everybody, israel was special. israel is His.

God told abraham to leave his home. again, i think it's funny. we often use the same phrase as miranda does in her song, "you don't know me from adam." abraham didn't know this God who called him and ordered him to leave his home, from adam. but he believed, he trusted and he followed. hebrews tells us that "by faith abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going. by faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country . . ." (hebrews 11: 8,9).

i think what i'm getting at is that we should not be nailed down, so to speak, and defined by a place or a building. our home is not who we are. our country, our land, or the empires we've built in this world. these things should not define us. our home is wherever the Lord has us. our home is the body of Christ. our home will one day be, and is already, in Heaven.

i'm not going to stop listening to this song. it's not harming me, it's just not applying to me either. because i'm not taking steps backward to figure out my life. i'm pressing on. i'm reaching up. i'm waiting on the Lord. in Him i will find my peace and my worth. and in His body (the "you and i") of the present time.

dirty

this morning i got up, pulled on some exercise clothes, went walking/jogging with my mama, did yard work, hung many loads of laundry, watched judah in the wading pool, pulled an old desk out of the shed, blasted it off with compressed air, sanded it, painted it and cleaned the kitchen once or twice. by about 5, i was dirty and tired. the weather today was up in the 90s and you could feel it.

do you know what i did?

i came into my air-conditioned house and i showered.

i simply turned on the faucet and showered.

and while i was in there i started thinking about my friends. friends in haiti. friends who have been "displaced."

i think "displaced" is kind of a funny word. they're not misplaced. we can find them. but they're surely not where they're supposed to be. they're not supposed to be in tents. on medians. outside.

in march when i visited haiti, two friends of mine, mireille and her mother (known as "mama" joassaint) described the living situation in port au prince like this:

"we're in the streets, you-you. we're all living out in the streets. where you throw your trash. we're not trash, you-you. we don't belong in the streets."

this evening, while showering, i thought about them. i thought about the fact that at the end of their days they are most likely much dirtier and much more tired than i ever am. and they don't have the option of going inside and turning on a faucet.

they never have.

when i stay in mama's courtyard, this is where i shower:

i take a small plastic tub of some kind, fill it with water from a basin and pour it over my head, all the while trying to avoid the three-inch long cockroaches climbing the walls, slipping into that gaping hole, and being seen over the metal "door" that comes up to about my shoulders.

and that's a typical haitian shower.

but even mama and mireille are lucky there. because they're merely sleeping under a tarp in their own courtyard. they're not in a tent city. and that cinder block stall you see pictured as where they've always showered.

others have it much worse.

because where do you shower here:

there is so much on my mind. the "re-building" of haiti. the friends still in tents. the fact that it's been six whole months. the people who are in the states longing to get back home. the people in haiti who want to be anywhere but. the people in haiti who are working day and night to minister to one another.

the bombings in uganda.

my friend who is going there on friday.

all i am saying is that we are beyond blessed. and i don't ever want to take it for granted. i don't want to get comfortable with the ability to shower. with the abundance of clean water. with electricity and food. because it's not a right. it's a blessing. and a great majority of this globe lives on less.

for a good article about haiti, check here.

please read this as it was meant. read it as encouragement to be grateful for what you have. not guilty. read it as a reminder that we are fortunate. read it and think about giving to others. time, talent and/or treasure. and maybe read it and then think about re-reading this.

(all photos via the miami herald except for the cinderblock shower, which i took.)

this is an award i will not be winning for blogging. i apologize. i "facebook" too much and neglect this corner of the world. so here are some updated pictures of judah to assure you that all is well in her world (and therefore, mine) by the grace of our Savior, Jesus Christ!!

judah in the hospital: part 2

judah in the hospital - as posted on facebook

(for those of you who are not on facebook, this is what's happening:)

okay, i'm gonna try to get all of this down because there are a lot of questions out there and i hope to address most of them right here.

it's 7:54 am on monday, memorial day. i am so thankful for the people who have and who continue to protect, aid, fight for and serve our country. i'm not always proud to be an american but i am ALWAYS thankful! i thought about that exact thing while driving judah to the emergency room two days ago. but i'll start from the beginning:

judah and i came down to southern california for the weekend to watch my "nephew" owen while his parents went to a wedding in las vegas. we arrived thursday evening. early friday morning, about 4 am, judah woke up and told me her tummy hurt. she couldn't keep still. she was squirming, crawling and climbing. then she began to vomit. a lot. after trying to clean everything and calm her down, we both slept fitfully for about an hour. so, around 8ish (?) we got up and my friends got ready to leave for vegas. judah was listless but i suspected she was worn out. throughout the day i offered her sips of anything she might be interested in drinking. that evening my friend shannon visited. she was gracious to purchase some pedialyte for judah. that evening and night judah sipped a bit more, but was still wiped out. around 3 am she started running a fever. i gave her tylenol and wiped her down with damp washcloths. owen woke at 5:30 and i had to take care of him. i was thankful to get them both sleeping for a little bit and took a nap myself. however, that morning judah's temperature rose and rose instead of coming down. i called her pediatrician back in oakhurst and he told me to take her to the e.r.
immediately i was on the phone with jessica, owen's aunt. she said to absolutely bring him right over to her house and not think anything more about it. which i did.
judah and i went to the e.r. and i was overwhelmed with the "convenience" of it. the ability to drive merely blocks, walk into the e.r., fill out two pieces of paper and then be seen was just shocking. yes, it took a long time once we were in, but we were in! we were in a clean, sterile hospital and we would be seen. how gracious is our God? i relived so many haitian hospital visits, or times when there should have been hospital visits, in my mind all the while.
brendie, my other best friend, arrived in her perfectly brendie fashion. see, i didn't have a cell phone and i didn't know what hospital i was going to when i left bren a message on facebook. i simply said, "i am taking judah to the hospital, i don't know what it's called, and i don't have a phone. emily gave me directions." from that message, bren was able to a) reach emily and ascertain the name of the hospital; b) get directions from her location to mine; and c) purchase a cell phone for me on the way. this is small example of the amazingness of brendie.
i had been doing a great job of being tough while judah was being checked out until i saw bren. then i cried just a bit.
we were worried about dehydration. judah hadn't been taking in enough fluids. they started an i.v. right away. they took urine and blood samples. they took an xray of her abdomen and of her chest. and then we waited. and waited. the (very nice) doctor came back and said the cultures were all clear as were the xrays. he was still concerned with the tenderness of her (distended and taunt) abdomen so he ordered a cat scan. i was very grateful for his desire to be thorough.
the cat scan showed some indefinite "blocking" of her . . . well, that wasn't definite either. the doc said he wanted to admit her and continue putting fluids in her overnight. however, holy cross medical center does not have a pediatric unit. that meant judah and i were going to go to another hospital via ambulance. scary. but also, i was thanking the Lord again that i was here in the states and had this amazing access to medial help!
so i rode on my first gurney and in my first ambulance. we were admitted to providence tarzana (still don't know exactly where i am) medical center at about midnight. the nurses here are superb. the paramedics, it should be said, were also very kind. one of them was the first to call judah by name. i could see she noticed; she followed him closely with her eyes and head.
we were admitted to a nice sized room and that is when i first heard the word "surgeon." i didn't like it. up until then, i was thinking they simply needed to hydrate her and that would make things start moving again and clear up the "blockage." the nurse told me the doctor and the surgeon would be coming by shortly. at that point they had to put in an N/G (nasal gastric) tube. yes, that's a tube in her nose emptying her intestine of disgustingness. i hated this part. her wide eyes. her asking me, "hold judah, mama." "mama, it hurts." hated hated that.
next i was told that i'd see the surgeon in the morning, rather than that night. we tried sleeping. i held her hand so she wouldn't rip out the NG tube. my parents arrived from home around 1am. praise God! they brought essentials (change of clothes, etc.) and prayed with judah and i before checking into a hotel.
saturday we waited and waited all day for the surgeon to come and tell us the next step. we did some more xrays and waited. dr. upperman came to see us after 5pm, i think. he was kind, patient, very informative, and certain of himself. he said, "common things are common." basically, there is no surgical history, no reason for judah to have a twisted or abscessed bowel. most likely, it was appendicitis. we then had to go for a "contrast cat scan" which was supposed to be more conclusive. i know i've harped on people for sharing TOO MUCH on facebook , so i'll just say, this was not a pleasant procedure.
they ordered a stat read on the cat scan and got it. but the scan was not conclusive re: appendicitis. dr. upperman decided to go in laparoscopically, still believing he would find appendicitis. he didn't.
as soon as he saw her intestine, he knew he'd have to open her up. a portion of it had died. this was the low point for me. the nurse came to the waiting room and said, "i just came out to tell you that we're opening her up." i suppose she said something more, but i don't know that she did. she certainly wasn't very comforting. then she walked away. i started to cry and made my dad make some phone calls for me. one of which sent brendie back down (now her third visit) to us. i was crying and praying and i took comfort in the fact that the Lord has a plan for me and for judah. a plan for a future and a hope. i also felt the Lord reminding me to be still and know that He is God. He told me that the peace He gives me is not the peace of this world, but a far greater, a true peace. i rested in that. scared, but believing in Christ.

dr upperman found that the intestine had twisted on itself and that about 8ish inches had simply become dead tissue. what was unknown was why this had happened. it would be understandable if judah had a history of surgery. in that case, she could have built up some scar tissue that could possibly block or contort the intestine. but she has no such history. (well, i guess she does NOW, but she didn't last night.)
dr. upperman had to take out that section of the intestine and repair the remaining length. can you believe that after surgery he came out and showed me pictures of my daughter's intestines on his iphone? it was so obvious which part was healthy and which part was dead. it was crazy to look at those pictures that had been taken just within that hour of the inside of my child. crazy.

my mom was standing in the hallway, anxious, when she saw them transporting judah to the PICU. she motioned and we all went running to catch a glimpse. then i just cried while my parents and bren hugged me. what a relief to see her being moved into recovery!! praise the Lord!!

what happens now? now we wait some more. a minimum of 7-8 days. minimum. we have to see that there is no leaking of the repair sight. that she doesn't get an infection. that she can handle drinking and eating. but it's so fragile he won't even let her try drinking for 4 more days. painful when she wakes up asking for exactly that: something to drink.
i've been drinking water with my back to her only when she's asleep. i just feel awful doing it in front of her. she can't understand why she can't have anything.

judah is a fighter. she's a smart girl. she has an incredible memory. and she is my blessing from the Lord. i know she will fight to get better. please pray that she wins that battle. please pray that she does not have an infection. please pray that there are no further complications in the near or far future.

last night as i was sitting with my parents in the waiting room, my mom said, "i don't know about you, but i can feel everyone's prayers." i shared that i could too. the image in my head was the verizon map. all those red spots showing up across the country were not indicating cell phone coverage, rather those were people praying to our Almighty God for judah and myself. we felt it. please keep 'em coming.


love and thankfulness for you all,
angela (grateful mama of judah icky-licky googob)