Tuesday, February 3, 2009

motherhood and following my Savior (my Abba)

i do realize that this parallel has been drawn before. many, many times. and if you don't want to read it, that's fine by me. however, for my own sake and for judah's, i'm going to try to get some of these thoughts down. maybe she'll read them someday and learn from them. maybe i'll learn just by writing it. may the Lord be praised.

when you become a mother, it's as though a fog has lifted. things that you saw but couldn't quite grasp become much more tangible. i understand the Lord better. i am deciphering His truths more and more.

how many times have you heard a parent make this joke:
the child wants to play with something dangerous such as scissors and when the parent intervenes, the child begins to cry and the parents says, "i know, i know, i'm the meanest dad ever!" in his most sarcastic tone.

familiar? and how often do you think the Lord does the same thing to us? for instance, a woman thinks it is fun to take pills to alter her state of mind, but the Lord intervenes and the woman thinks He is being unfair, unjust. how dare He put such strict regulations on her? and the Lord thinks, "i know, i know, i'm the meanest God ever!" in His most sarcastic tone.

and how often, while judah is crying in the midst of some great crisis (i.e. dinner not coming fast enough), do i reminder her over and over that everything is okay? she has a nice, warm home. she is clothed and dry. she has a family who loves her and food is on it's way! but she's in the trenches. and from her view she is starving and the food may never come. she may not realize what i do. she may not know that i've turned on the kettle and put the dry cereal in a bowl. she doesn't perceive that the provision has already been made. all she has to do is trust in me, her loving mama, and wait. it's that easy.

and it's the same with Christ, isn't it? what does He say? consider the lilies of the field? how much more does He love His own!

oh what comfort.  what peace.  all my needs have been met.  all provisions have been made.  and while i might not yet see or understand what He's done for me, He promises that He has gone before me and prepared the way!  
can you rest in that today?  can you see your Father in heaven loves you more than you can grasp and that He will never leave you?

one more:
judah just woke up crying.  for all she knows she is alone in the dark.  she feels helpless, hopeless.  everyone has abandoned her.  she cries out, hoping i'll hear and come to her.  which, of course, i do.  why?  because i love her.  because she is my daughter.  created in my image.

i am so grateful for a loving Savior, a Father Who has met my every need before i even realized i had it.