fresh cut

no, i did not go through a major break-up.

no crisis here.

i simply cut my hair.

i was growing it because i agreed to grow it out with my mom so we could both donate our hair. she's gonna cut hers in the next two weeks. her hair grows faster and is longer than mine. she is donating to locks of love while i am giving my hair to pantene beautiful lengths.

thankfully, the charity i'm donating to accepts 8" as opposed to the usual 10" most other organizations require.

i am leaving for haiti on monday and i don't know how long i'll be there. i also don't know where i'll be staying. if we're staying out at the construction site, i imagine there will be a water shortage. not knowing how long i'll be going between showers etc., i figured it would be best to donate my hair

before

i go. otherwise, its just plain rude. you should never give away cast off items, right? i mean, not as a gift. unless we're talking about some weird gift exchange at Hallmark-mas in which people try to give each other the worst present possible. and that's not the point here.

as much as i dislike hair, there is someone out there who loves it. someone who feels naked without it. someone who is simply looking for a piece of normalcy.

someone with cancer.

i tried, while growing out my hair, to do what my mom does and pray for the person who would receive my hair. i hope it is a blessing. i hope they find true hope which can only be found in the person of Jesus Christ.

i know i didn't always have the best attitude about my hair. i really don't like long hair at all. but i tried to be positive and not complain. i tried to treat it like a blessing. but i have to say i'm thrilled to have it off. i'm happy to have made the goal (just barely) and happy to be through.

and i think it will be exceptionally easy while i'm in haiti which is just one more bonus!

i hope you like it.

best.dad.ever

i have said this before. i think it might be time to say it again. as it turns out, i have the

best dad ever.

my dad is selfless. he is the behind-the-sceens giver. the one who makes things happen and never takes any credit.

the quiet, driving force behind not only our family, but our church family as well.

he cares about others and puts that compassion into action. but action with thought and planning. he is deliberate. his actions, thought out.

oh he might come out the gate charging, but he has the humility and tenacity to listen to wise counsel and to change his course.

my dad is gracious. he is forgiving. he is incredibly generous. my dad provides for my mom, myself, my daughter, my brother and helps those in need.

my dad is my hero.

my dad also happens to be judah's best friend.

his humor . . . takes time. understanding. my dad can make almost anything into a game.

with my dad you're always on an adventure, always keeping score, always seven years old.

this week my dad has made my heart sing because i have watched him once again orchestrate something beautiful. he is putting together not one but two construction teams for "new life to the children" in haiti. he has been online and on the phone constantly seeking volunteers, recruiting help, soliciting organizations for aid.

in all honesty, haiti isn't my dad's forte.

neither is construction. he has said he's not sure his dad even owned a hammer. but he is willing to organize these trips, willing to sacrifice his bed, willing to go because he believes in helping his brother. and he knows that the people of haiti are our brothers and sisters.

he knows very well.

because his best friend is from haiti.

and she has him tied around her little finger (whether he'll admit it or not). and someday i'll get the privilege of telling judah about this time in our lives. about when her grandpa stepped up and took action.

i am so blessed, papa, that you are my dad. i am so grateful that the Lord allowed me to be in your family. He didn't have to. He could have given you to someone else. but man am i glad He didn't.

i love you, dad.

and i mean it when i say that

you

are the very

best

dad

ever.

convicting mercy

we took communion today.

as our pastor read from Scripture, i was convicted of the Lord's mercy. by that i mean i saw how merciful He has been to me, how He redeemed me and i was put to shame by the desire to hold others' sins against them.

namely, those "missionaries" from idaho who thought a good idea was to go to haiti and take children that did not belong to them. apparently just coming to america solves all problems. nothing to be said about living in Christ-centered homes no matter where you are on earth. no matter the conditions.

having spent two years working hard to fight lies and misconceptions about international adoption, the actions of these "well-meaning" people was a huge blow. i was angry. actually, i was more than that.

i was condemning.

and today Christ showed me my sin. it's not for me to judge. it's not for me to condemn them. yes, they were wrong. but (and i hope this is true) they thought they were doing something good. "misguided" doesn't even come close to touching how wrong they were. but they will have to live with their horrible decision for the rest of their lives.

i understand the consequences of sin. moreover, i know a thing or two about really public sin. one of my sins hangs out like summer laundry for the world to see. i have repented and i have been forgiven. GRAS A DYE!

(grace of God!)

even so, the world still sees my sin. even so i endure ramifications of my sin all the time. and my sin was never broadcast on international television.

the Lord quietly, gently, kindly brought this to mind today as i sat in the back row praying. yes, those people from idaho sinned. but so have i. and i have been forgiven, washed clean. if they repent to Jesus Christ for their sin, they too will be forgiven.

who am i to condemn?

the next step

i am so blessed.

i honestly have the best of friends and the most wonderful family. if you know me, you can't deny this.

it's hard to think about the next step.

there was an unspeakable tragedy. and there were days of uncertainty. there is still a great deal unknown. people are suffering unimaginable pain. and they seem to suffer with dignity. i've been on quite the roller coaster, as we all have, the last three weeks and two days. i soar with the triumph of ALL OUR CHILDREN COMING HOME!

and then my heart sinks as the reports come in and i read that 45 children lost their lives. again, i'm encouraged when i think of those children dancing with full bellies and no sickness in the presence of our Lord Jesus!

amen?

next i speak with nicole and learn she's lost her boyfriend and they've not been eating. i ask God, "why? why can't i do something for those who are in need?"

and

"why did it have to happen?"

and

"why can't i go?"

i read about friends who have had to make tough decisions to leave their country behind. i ache some more. i know that pain. know it all too well.

the earthquake has renewed my prayer life.

i prayed a lot before january 12, but i have not ceased since that day. i know that is what i was commanded to do all along. the Lord, it is said, works in mysterious ways.

my mother is my best friend.

(i know i call a lot of people that, but seriously, she is.)

my mom and our dear friend reg put their words and my wonderings into action. they believed in a fundraiser. they supported my hopes. they have worked tirelessly since we set about to do this thing. and that has moved me. my dad has been a constant support. he has precautions and ideas. again, blessed.

this is what we are doing:

on february 20th, there will be a (i hesitate to call it this) craft fair.

we will be selling art, photography, jewelry, quilts, children's boutique wear, really tasty baked goods, and much more. we will also have live music and a caricature artist.

at the same time we are orchestrating a community fundraiser. many local businesses will be donating to our cause from their profits of said weekend. the idea is simple: many people are strapped financially and won't make it to the (ahem) craft fair. these same people, however, will pick up their dry cleaning, get their morning mocha, and their afternoon sub. if the dry cleaners are donating some of their profits to haïti, then the customer can feel like a contributor without going over their budget.

this is a big project but it feels really good to be doing something to help. and as i said, i am so blessed. so far i have over 20 people (read "friends" or "blessings") who are busy making products which they are donating no strings attached, to the fundraiser. the print shop where i was printing some of my pictures to sell, printed them free of charge. the copy shop where i stopped to make copies of my flyers, printed them free of charge. the newspaper is going to run our flyer free of charge. and the lady from the cable company is in my weight watchers group and said she'd put my announcement on tv free of charge!

a wonderful woman in our church wrote me a check to print pictures, buy frames, make my verse books and whatever other expenses might come up. she just sent it to me in the mail because she wanted to help. seriously.

i have a friend whose son made a stuffed animal, his first sewing project. he's making stuffed cats to benefit the children of haïti. incidentally, i became involved with "new life to the children" because of his grandpa and took my first trip to haïti because of and with his dad.

some have asked me about my choice to raise funds for "new life to the children" and not "three angels." i'll answer that now. "three angels" is a solid organization. i support them. gretchen and shannon are very close to my heart. i have donated to their cause over the years and since the quake. i loved my time living at Angel House.

the reason i have chosen "new life" instead is because of need. "three angels" has made a bit of a name for itself this past month. they are on the radio and television all over the country. newspapers continue to spotlight the miraculous exodus of those remaining 26 children. they were even featured in time magazine!

i praise the Lord that those 26 children, most of whom i lived with and prayed over constantly, are now home with their forever families. but "new life" lost 45 children. most of their buildings have been destroyed. they are haitian founded and run, so their voice in america is not strong. they have received little aid so far. prior to the quake, they were building on some property outside of port au prince. reports say the construction is unharmed. don will be arriving there tomorrow to investigate and assess whether they can put up temporary, safe buildings on the site and move the remaining children and caregivers there.

i want to help in this. i worked with these pastors, caregivers, and children. i think this is a worthy cause. i know the money raised will not be squandered. i know they have great need. i want to make their voice heard.

please support them.

give with liberality - romans 12:8

this generation of americans has been hailed the entertainment generation. the longest commercial we've had to endure probably lasted an entire minute. (and for that, we had to change the channel.) it's no wonder, with the millisecond flashes of information we've been bombarded with on our television sets that we also have the greatest prevalence of ADD ever.

last week, when i told people i had lived in haiti, they couldn't find it on the map.

since tuesday, all focus has been on the devastated island. you cannot turn on the tv, computer or radio without hearing about the earthquake, to say nothing of texting, tweeting, and newspapers.

but sometime in the next month, the word "haiti" will go away. and when that happens, when matt lauer starts talking about a suicide bomber instead, i want you to remember this face:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/43701062@N05/4277220078/

when anderson cooper returns to the states and people stop following troy livesay's tweets, don't forget that this woman is still crying.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/9183672/4277115470/

when the city of port au prince becomes passé in today's media remember that they are still living without food, clean water or shelter. they are living with INCREDIBLE risk of disease.

the people of haiti have always needed our help. not having clean drinking water has always been a problem. they have also always suffered from a severe lack of food. it took a catastrophe for the world to notice them. but i fear it won't take much for the world to forget. to move on.

people are very inclined to give right now. they want to feel good, feel as though they did something important. i want to tell you EVERY DOLLAR YOU GIVE IS NECESSARY AND IMPORTANT. you have done well. but next month, when america has moved on, when we turn our attention back to a deceitful healthcare bill, haiti will still need you. so make a commitment right now to give monthly. give out of every pay check. because the Lord said that whatever you do for the least among you, you have done for Him. you don't have to wait to feel "called" to give. we've already been commanded to love our neighbors as ourselves. as we spend on ourselves, so we should spend in aid.

go ahead. change his world.

ezayi bazile (isaiah - in english)

here are four reliable organizations. every penny you send will go directly to helping the people of haiti and will not be taken out for "administrative fees" or any other scam.

www.hcfonline.com

www.threeangelshaiti.org

www.heartlineministries.org

www.boskohaiti.com

please pass this along.

help for haiti

**if you look at the picture above, the one in my header, you can begin to speculate how devastating an earthquake is to haïti.**

(PLEASE NOTE - THIS PHOTO WAS TAKEN FOUR YEARS AGO BEFORE ANY EARTHQUAKE!)

the Lord our God is gracious. He is mighty to save! while images and reports flash across our tv and computer screens, we wait. we beg God for mercy. and He delivered last night. we learned that although the building of Three Angles is damaged, all the children and the volunteer abbie are safe! how mighty is our God?

the questions have started: how can we help?

below i will list ways you can donate, but first i want to ask that EVERYONE who reads this join me in praying specifically that in light of this disaster, all officials will be lenient and allow the children who are currently in the process of being adopted to COME HOME immediately. that the Lord will open doors to allow the children to get on planes and into the arms of their waiting families. i know this is an impossible feat according to everything we know but so was saving ALL OF OUR CHILDREN!

the Lord can accomplish this. let's pray together.


for donations, consider the following organizations:
(i personally vouch for all of these organizations, knowing that your entire donation will go directly to the people of haiti, the relief and aid efforts there.)

www.threeangelshaiti.org (where i lived)

www.hcfonline.com (where i was in august)

www.heartlineministries.org (where megan works)

www.boskohaiti.com (don brown's organization)

i would also appreciate your prayers for the many, many people from whom we have not yet heard. they include: judah's dad - jean bernard and my dear friend nicole. i have not spoken with judah's dad in many months (by choice) and he does not have a telephone so i am unable to contact him now. i have attempted to call nicole, but reached someone else at her number who did not know her. i appreciate all your prayers in this regard. thank you all for your emails, phone calls, and more importantly PRAYERS!